Do you understand the power of your thoughts?
You have the power to change your life, by changing the way you think.
That might sound a bit audacious.
It might even sound a bit cliché.
But it is a fundamental truth.
Much of what shapes your life right now- your job, your relationships, your finances, even how you see yourself, didn’t appear by accident. They have been influenced and shaped over time by your thoughts; the beliefs you hold, the stories you repeat and the assumptions you’ve accepted as true.
However, just like you created your current life through your thoughts, you can recreate it by changing the way you think.
How amazing is that.
When I think about what I want for my life, or what I do not want, I get quite excited knowing I have the power to create or to release.
And that power lives within all of us.
Now, you might be reading this from very different places:
- You may feel sceptical, unsure whether changing your thoughts can really change anything in your life.
- You may believe it in theory, but feel tired and deflated from past attempts that didn’t seem to work.
- You may be open, curious, and hoping something in you will finally click.
- Or you may already know this truth, and are simply looking for confirmation and encouragement to keep going.
Wherever you are, this is for you, and you belong here.
This is an invitation to explore, reflect and experiment with changing the way you think, at your own pace.
Let’s go deeper.
What Are Thoughts?
Thoughts are mental events.
They are ideas, images, memories, interpretations, and inner conversations that we have in our mind every day and they are often automatic.
Thoughts are created through your experiences, upbringing, culture, survival instincts, and repetition. Many of our thoughts were formed as children, long before we had the language or power to question them. Some were learned as protection. Some were learned from what we saw. Some were born from moments of pain, rejection, love or fear.
Because thoughts are so constant, so familiar and, often, so loud, they shape how we feel, what we believe and what we do, this is the power of your thoughts.
Thoughts can become so powerful that many of us believe we are our thoughts.
We confuse the voice in our head with our identity- but we are not our thoughts.
From scriptures to psychology, the message is consistent: your thinking matters, a lot!
- Proverbs 23:7 says it simply: “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
- In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren reminds us: “To change your life you must change the way you think.”
- Napoleon Hill, in Outwitting the Devil, describes thought as our highest power- a force that can be directed.
- Cognitive psychology explains this through the thought–feeling–behaviour loop: what we think influences how we feel, which shapes what we do.
- In his book, Unstressable, bestselling author Mo Gawdat, states “your thoughts, left unchecked, totally control your life.”
“Many of the thoughts we carry today were formed in childhood, long before we had the words or power to question them.”
I recently read an insightful book, The Little Book of Big Stuff About the Brain, to better understand why our thoughts hold such power, and here’s what I learned:
Every thought we have is a small spark of activity in the brain. That spark travels between brain cells across tiny gaps called synapses. When a thought feels important, is emotionally charged or is linked to a reward, the brain releases a chemical called dopamine. The dopamine acts like a highlighter pen, it marks that thought as something worth remembering.
The more often that thought is repeated, the more it is highlighted and the more the brain strengthens the pathway connected to it. Over time, that thought becomes easier and quicker to return to, like a well-worn path your mind automatically follows.
When the same thoughts are repeated over months and years, they turn into mental ‘templates’, which are fast, automatic beliefs such as “people can’t be trusted” or “I’m never going to be good enough.” We don’t usually stop to question these templates; they just run automatically in the background.
These templates shape our everyday choices.
They influence who we let close to us, the chances we take, how we care for ourselves, and whether we move towards opportunities or pull away from them.
Over time, those choices shape the life we experience.
The good news: as the brain learns through repetition, it means it can relearn too. When we practise new, healthier ways of thinking, the brain begins to create new pathways. Old templates slowly lose their strength, and new ones take their place, this is the power of your thoughts.
The Thoughts Of Black Folk
Our thoughts do not appear in a vacuum; they are shaped by what we have lived through, the environments we grew up in and the messages we absorb.
For Black people, this includes a long and complex history marked by resilience, creativity, faith and survival.
But it also includes trauma.
Not just individual trauma, but generational and systemic experiences that have left their imprint on how many of us think, feel, and move through the world.
This is not about seeing Black identity through a lens of damage, it is about understanding the context, because when we understand the context we can choose to think differently.
Racism, discrimination and stereotypes don’t only operate “out there” in society, they also shape our inner world. Repeated exposure to messages about danger, limitation or inferiority can become our mental templates, especially when those messages are reinforced over time.
Thoughts like:
- “I have to work twice as hard.”
- “I can’t let my guard down.”
- “If I mess up, it won’t just reflect on me.”
- “It’s not safe for me to be here…or to go there”
These thoughts didn’t appear randomly, they were learned in environments where vigilance was necessary, where safety sometimes depended on reading the room and staying alert. They may have also formed through knowledge of how Black people have been treated, both historically and in the present day, across different parts of the world.
People of all races, backgrounds, and cultures carry thought patterns shaped by emotionally charged experiences like abuse, neglect, poverty, loss, rejection, or instability.
Trauma does not discriminate.
What differs is how personal experiences can be layered on top of collective ones. Over time, these layers can create thinking patterns that feel automatic, even when they are no longer helpful.
Many of our thoughts might have once served a purpose.
- They helped us cope.
- They helped us survive.
- They helped us stay safe.
But what protects us in one season of life can limit us in another season.
Personal Reflection- My Thoughts
How My Thoughts Shape My Choices
I reflect a lot on my thoughts, through meditation, walking and being still. I reflect on how my thinking has shaped my experiences, my decisions and even the things I avoid without fully realising why. Some of this connects to my womanhood, and some, very clearly, to my Blackness.
You may have had similar thoughts and lived with the consequences of them too.
I watched the tragic, high-profile news stories about what happened to Sarah Everard, Sabina Nessa and Zara Aleena. Like many women, those stories stayed with me. They didn’t just pass through my mind, they caused me distress and worry that settled there.
As a result, I am now reluctant to go out alone at night- many women are.
Not because something has happened to me personally, but because my thoughts, shaped by these tragic and emotionally charged stories, tell me that it could happen to me.
The consequence?
In the winter months I go for walks far less because it gets dark earlier. That means less movement, less fresh air and less space to clear my head. Over time, this compromises both my physical emotional wellbeing.
What’s important to acknowledge here is this: statistically, women are far more likely to experience violence from men they know than from a stranger. Yet my thoughts, influenced by fear and emotional impact, tell a different story. And so I behave differently.
This isn’t about being irrational, it’s about how powerful our thought templates are once they’ve been formed.
As a Black person, there’s another thought pattern I’ve noticed, which I’m sure many other Black people can resonate with.
How many times have you heard about a murder, a mass killing, or any other heinous crime and felt that quiet, uncomfortable hope in your chest that the perpetrator isn’t Black?
I notice myself doing it almost every time. And I have to ask myself why?
My reactions do not come from nowhere. They are tied to stereotypes, collective judgement and the knowledge that when a Black person commits a crime, it’s often seen as a reflection of the whole community, not just the individual. My thoughts have learned this over time, through headlines, narratives and lived experience. Your thoughts have probably learned this too.
It also comes up sometimes when I’m looking at countries to visit, retreats to attend or spa days to book, I often find myself scanning for ethnic diversity. I scroll through websites looking for photos, hoping to see at least one Black face- a sign that I’ll be welcome there, I will be safe, I will be understood.
On the surface, it might look like a preference, but underneath it is a thought that says: “Will I belong here?” “Will I feel comfortable?”
Some might call that sad.
Others might call it cautious.
But it’s just another example of how thoughts, shaped by experience and the stories we hear, guide our behaviour and often without realising it.
None of these thoughts make me weak.
None of them make me broken.
They make me human.
Taking Control Over Your Thoughts
Where attention goes, energy flows.
When you become more aware of your thinking you start to recognise which thoughts no longer serve you, and which ones help you move towards the life you want, and it is at this point that change becomes possible; you are able to notice and guide your thoughts rather than being carried away by them.
Over time, noticing our thoughts allows us to give more energy to those that support our wellbeing and less energy to the ones we are ready to release.
Thoughts that are fed grow stronger.
Thoughts that are starved slowly lose their grip.
This doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen.
Taking control means becoming an active participant in your inner world, rather than a passive listener to whatever your mind offers. It means recognising that just because a thought appears, it doesn’t automatically deserve your agreement, obedience, or action.
Taking control does not mean trying to silence your thoughts.
It means practising offering your mind alternatives; thoughts that are supportive and compassionate. For example:
- Instead of, “people like me cannot go to places like that”, an alternative can be “This feels uncomfortable, but it doesn’t mean I’m unsafe.”
- Instead of “I cannot start that side hustle, I need to learn more” an alternative can be “I can move forward without having all the answers.”
- Instead of “there is no way I am going to be able to complete this course successfully” an alternative might be “I am capable of achieving this, I just need more time and support.”
At first, alternative thoughts can feel unfamiliar.
That’s normal.
New thoughts don’t arrive fully formed, they grow and strengthen through repetition, patience, and practice.
Changing the way you think means refusing to let old stories write the next chapter of your life.
Because of the power of your thoughts, each time you choose a different way of thinking, you are strengthening a new mental pathway. You are teaching your brain what matters now. There will be days when old thoughts return loudly. When this happens, the most important thing you can do is keep going with kindness rather than criticism.
𓋹 Make A Change–Guarding the Gate: What we repeatedly watch, read, and listen to becomes our mental wallpaper. Due to the power of our thoughts, over time, these things will shape how we think, and often without us even noticing. Taking control of your thoughts means being intentional about what you allow into your mind:
- Choose content that nourishes and encourages your mental and emotional wellness.
- Avoid content, environments or situations that automatically lead to you comparing yourself in a way that leaves you feeling small, inadequate or not enough.
- Balance stories of struggle and trauma with celebration, especially of Black joy, creativity, and excellence.
- Go ahead and mute three social media accounts that drain you. Instead, follow three that lift you (make one of these we are strength on Instagram and Facebook)
- Replace 10 minutes of doom-scrolling with 10 minutes of reading, prayer, journalling or movement.
𓋹 Make A Change: Gratitude Practice: Train your mind to notice what’s working, so you are not just focussing on aspects of your life that may not be going well. Each night, note:
- 3 things you’re grateful for
- 2 things you did well
- 1 lesson you’re carrying into tomorrow
There are so many benefits of gratitude practice, it reduces depressive thoughts, lowers stress, makes us more hopeful, boosts resilience and much more.
Final Word:
Your thoughts are powerful, so when they go unnoticed, unguided and unexamined they can quietly begin to shape your life in ways you never consciously chose. And if your thoughts are consistently negative, they can rob you of your joy and peace.
Changing the way you think does not mean denying reality, ignoring pain, or pretending life is easy. It’s about recognising the power of your thoughts and refusing to let old stories that no longer serve you write the next chapter of your life.
Create a life that makes you happy and fulfilled by choosing thoughts that support your wellbeing, your joy and your growth.
Salute To The Sources:
Deep gratitude to the thinkers and creators that inspired this Insight and whose work was used:
- Proverbs 23:7.
- Rick Warren (The Purpose Driven Life).
- Napoleon Hill (Outwitting the Devil)
- Andrew Curran (The Little Book of Big Stuff About the Brain),
- Mo Gawdat (Unstressable)
- Main image- power of the mind image by Anastasiia Yuu on Unsplash
- Black man thinking image- Pharaoh Fontain on Unsplash
